The fear of what could happen generally holds us back far more than what really does happen. We tend to find more evidence to support our negative beliefs than our optimism. Therefore we learn to live in a safe bubble. It’s appropriate when it serves you well but once you have out grown it you resent the orb around you.
I’ve taken a lesson from my martial arts and used the principle in my life “it’s the action that gets the result.” If you wait for the perfect time it will never happen. I often see my martial arts students waiting to execute their practiced technique only to find their timing is wrong and it doesn’t work. Although they are honing their skills in a gym, when they are presented with a scenario on the street, it has to work first time.
When I started my three peaks challenge I learnt more from my first step than the map I was reading. I had to be prepared to stay safe, I had provisions, I had direction and I had a support network on the end of the phone. The only thing that would have stopped me completing my challenge was not to take the first step. What was I frightened of, apart from failing?
What would motivate you to overcome your fear?
If you had everything you needed what would stop you?
Extract from the book “Understanding The Mirror” written by Mike Bowden pages 166-167 http://www.changingoutcomes.co.uk/
One thing that did have a huge impact on my life was to change the language I used. Rather than say something was good, I changed it to say it was great. Rather than saying my day was okay, I changed it to say it was brilliant. Just by changing the words to carry a stronger emotion made me believe that it was true.
If you tell yourself that something is bad enough times you believe yourself. The subconscious part of the brain can’t rationalise language. It believes what it is told. The conscious part of the brain allows logic, how we interpret and process facts. Therefore by using more positive emotion words, you can lift your mood and your subconscious brain believes it to be true.
Try it the next time you speak to someone and they ask how your day is. Rather than saying that your day is okay, tell them with enthusiasm how brilliant it is and watch their reaction. Generally people will influence the behaviour of others around them. The words you use can be the catalyst for something better.
Body posture had a huge effect on my attitude and persona. A song that constantly played through my head until my subconscious brain believed it. It was a song from my childhood sung by Val Doonican called “Walk Tall”.
“Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye. That’s what my mama told me when I was about knee high. She said son be a proud man and hold your head up high. Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye”.
Whenever I stoop and hide my face, whenever I drop my glaze and try to hide in the crowd, good old Val starts singing to me from his famous rocking chair.
Next time you read a book try the same posture. Read a section hunched over the pages and then again with your head up and shoulders back. Although the words are the same it’s amazing how you will interpret the text in a different way. You will change your task from a chore to a pleasure and register the content more easily.
Now try the same thing when you talk to other people. Allow your back to straighten and forehead to lift. Pull your shoulders back and smile. There are so many books written on body language and posture, yet we all fail to adopt these techniques in our everyday life. Even when you talk to people on the telephone, your posture determines your tone and how your message is received by others.
Extract from the book “Understanding The Mirror” by Mike Bowden pages 103-105 http://www.changingoutcomes.co.uk/