A successful business colleague of mine always had a smile on his face. He was relaxed and happy with a spring in his step. He walked with his head held high displaying quiet confidence. His aura was fantastic for a man in his late sixties. I asked him how he managed it. He said that he didn’t boast about his successes or cry about his losses, he just made sure every day was a good day.
Although he was never a man to stand out from the crowd, he was a genuinely nice guy that became very wealthy from his successes. He had such a confidence about him that he didn’t have to boast his achievements or broadcast his future plans, he took every day as it come and just enjoyed the moment.
I understood that I could get results I so desperately wanted right now, if I focused on “the now” rather than worrying about tomorrow. I couldn’t influence tomorrow when today wasn’t the best it could be. I needed to focus on, my experience of today, because this moment “NOW” is the only true experience I will ever have. I found that making today a good day, then tomorrow an even better day, then next week even better, was the formulate for achieving results that lasted.
I spent too much time trying to perfect my future when my present wasn’t as good as it needed to be. So try it for yourself, changing just one element in your day today and see the rippling effect that it will have tomorrow. Create the foundations everyday for a better day tomorrow, then the day after.
For many years I had asked myself one question, which I could never answer. It was three words and eight letters, so simple to ask but for me a nightmare to answer, the question was “Is this it?” I was never satisfied I always wanted more.
My character forced me to push forward my in life, striving to be the best version that I could be. I placed huge amounts of pressure on myself to succeed, often feeling frustrated and let down, when things weren’t progressing as quickly as I had hoped. Many times outside influences would create obstacles and hamper my progress. I never took time to reflect whether I was content with what I had and where I was going, I was living my life at 100mph and focusing on the Holy Grail. It wasn’t until I began to accept that nothing in life is totally satisfactory, that nothing in life is perfect and that nothing in life is permanent, that I started to gain clarity.
When I realised the only guarantee in life is “Change” I started to accept the way things were at that moment in time, nothing remains the same. There are so many outside forces that can knock you off track, that even if you don’t want to change your life, your life will get changed for you. Also, there are so many positive influences that can give you a lucky break when you least expect it.
I changed my own question from “Is this it?” to “Is this enough for now?” and took the pressure off myself. I realised that I was striving for a perfect me in an imperfect world. Even if I hadn’t achieved what I wanted to, there was always another day to get there. Although we can influence how our life turns out, we have to question how much ultimate control we have on our destiny and whether we choose to accept how things are at any particular time.
Typically we are all social creatures that want to be accepted by society in general. Often we strive for approval through popularity and yearn for the need to be liked, but is this a true measure of our worth?
Although it is nice to be liked it is not essential in shaping the person that you are. Whether you are liked or loathed, it isn’t your responsibility to chase after someone else’s opinion of you. Whatever you do will be judged by them regardless of how you do it, therefore their perception of you is formed without your control. Some people may be drawn to you for personality or appearance whereas other people may be repelled by it, but you can’t change that. It is an impossible task to be all things for all people, but often that is what we try to achieve. When we don’t get the response we crave for, we feel let down and rejected.
Surely it is more important to be respected for your influence and ability which are more tangible aspects of your personality rather than someone’s personal opinion about you. Forthright people such as Alan Sugar may not be your choice of social company but there will be an element of respect for what he has achieved.