For many years I had asked myself one question, which I could never answer. It was three words and eight letters, so simple to ask but for me a nightmare to answer, the question was “Is this it?” I was never satisfied I always wanted more.
My character forced me to push forward my in life, striving to be the best version that I could be. I placed huge amounts of pressure on myself to succeed, often feeling frustrated and let down, when things weren’t progressing as quickly as I had hoped. Many times outside influences would create obstacles and hamper my progress. I never took time to reflect whether I was content with what I had and where I was going, I was living my life at 100mph and focusing on the Holy Grail. It wasn’t until I began to accept that nothing in life is totally satisfactory, that nothing in life is perfect and that nothing in life is permanent, that I started to gain clarity.
When I realised the only guarantee in life is “Change” I started to accept the way things were at that moment in time, nothing remains the same. There are so many outside forces that can knock you off track, that even if you don’t want to change your life, your life will get changed for you. Also, there are so many positive influences that can give you a lucky break when you least expect it.
I changed my own question from “Is this it?” to “Is this enough for now?” and took the pressure off myself. I realised that I was striving for a perfect me in an imperfect world. Even if I hadn’t achieved what I wanted to, there was always another day to get there. Although we can influence how our life turns out, we have to question how much ultimate control we have on our destiny and whether we choose to accept how things are at any particular time.